Allina’s Love

I have calmed down.  Good ol’ Allina, ever so gentle soul that she is, she’s my rock.


Allina confided in me that she wasn’t at all sure she could make it a whole year without her brother Mikko. I told her I wasn’t sure I could carry them both and my stuff too, so we went over different possibilities and she thought that perhaps the smallest ones would be best for traveling.  We talked about Audrey and Hammie, as is was plenty to have one brother, but if she had to care for Hammie too, that might be too much.  She thought maybe Charlotte could care for him, but I said that I could take them both, it wasn’t so much and of course, they could keep each other company when I was busy.  Allina agreed with me, but we also agreed to wait until we were home and had a chance to feel this on all sides, getting all my companion’s input.  See what I mean about Allina? 


And that brings me to my great news, they are diverting us to Denver instead of Utah, and so with a delivery tomorrow, we should be home tomorrow evening!  It was so unexpected!


Also, the BIG decision is just about completed, that I will go back on the truck for the next run, which will bring me home the middle of March and then I will leave for Hawaii about April 1 or the end of March.  Here it is already!  As soon as my daughter and I figure a date, I will be buying the ticket while home this week!  YIKES!


At this moment, but of course, it will not be final until everyone has had a say, I am thinking of bringing both Audrey and Hammie back with me on the next run.  It will help me decide if two is too much of a handful.


I also bought two matching wigs, in carrot red for them both, I thought it would be fun to try giving them a more unified look:


greenshot_2011-01-29_15-32-06  I am not sure how Hammie will take to having a few curls, but if not, I can trim them a bit. 


Decisions, Decisions

A very special THANKS to all my group members who always lend an ear to my dolly troubles and give such good advice and ideas.


While many think there is no such thing as a perfect doll, I have indeed met one.  I finally found the dream doll, the one with the most perfect weight, size, movement in her joints, and with an expression as deep as her soul.  And because of her, I know that what I had been searching for did indeed exist.


Now I admit, she threw me into a tailspin of emotions that were already stirred up by the difficult decision I had to make about who I will take to Hawaii for a year. After some fretful searching, after exhaustion all the possibilities of what type of companion to take, I finally sat myself down and thought through the whole ordeal before I drive myself and everyone around me stark raving crazy.


First….a dear friend asked me the deepest of all questions If money were no object at all, what doll would you choose? Really. In your heart of hearts what doll do you WANT?  Yep, that is the essence, the very heart of the matter.  I thought long and hard on this question!  If I could find this answer, perhaps I would be done with all the searching and longing I go through so very routinely.


So the first thing thing to think through was just WHO was this doll?  Was it the perfect doll?  Well the answer in one way is yes, it is HER.  Because in my mind, it has always been the search, the dream, the ideal.  So, of course, it would be foolish to say I didn’t want HER.  But the reality is that I have to be willing to sacrifice something for the ultimate.  The next question is then, am I willing to sacrifice what it would take to obtain the funds to get HER?  It would mean selling every single doll I have and carve as many dolls as I could to make up the second half of the cost.  Yes, she is indeed a very expensive girl.  I estimate a 2 year period with no companion and to top that off, when she finally arrived, would there even be a bond?  More importantly, would I have any regrets on letting go of those I had?  Undoubtedly.


Now I entered into the next series of thoughts on how to fix this problem I have.  I am not willing to take the risk.  I am not willing to let desire make a decision for me.  Desire is fickle and elusive.  Desire begins to strip a person of rational thought.  Desire is a thrill seeking emotion and is never ending and always luring.


My problem is about the reality that I need to chose a doll that will be my companion for an entire year, exclusively.  It is not an easy choice.  I can choose the type of doll, the size or the attachment as the main criteria in that choice.  I have wondered who would make the best overall travel-worthy companion, who would suit my needs and who would bring me the most joy, as I know I will be lonely for my husband and very stressed with living in a house filled with children.  I need a companion I can relate to, sew for, confide it.  Is that a child or an adult companion?


I have made two solid decisions so far:

  • No perfect dream boat dolls are going to solve my problem right now.
  • No new doll is going to solve it either.

I have decided to list my possibilities so that I can stay clear on my choices:

  1. Evie.  I would re-do her legs to help that big issue I have with her. Could I  bring back our fading bond?  I miss my Evie.  No investments needed.
  2. Audrey.  I would bring Miette’s trunk room with the nurphy bed and I would be able to have lots of dollhouse fun with Audrey.  She is the easiest to travel with being so small.  I miss playing with her.  No investments needed.
  3. Allina.  Allina is fast becoming a companion, bringing me a level of contentment and calm I so need these days.  Her wood comforts me, her maturity is pleasing.  Should be fine to travel with size wise.
  4. Audrey & Hammie.  I could invest in a Muffy Trunk, the one with the two bunk beds inside.  They would be lots of fun for stories.  Easy to travel with, size wise.
  5. Allina and Mikko, I would invest in an american girl size bunk bed and have it sent to Hawaii ahead of my arrival, and with the big doll wardrobe already there, I would have a “room” for them and they too would be great for stories.  Harder to travel with, size wise.

I am going to continue to study this list, stay clear and focused and when I get home, I am going to spend some time with each and listen with my heart.  I need to make the decision because I need to be able to start preparing for the trip.  I want to mail a box of yarns, carving tools, knitting needles, sewing supplies and doll accessories so they will be there when I arrive.


I just received a photo of my little granddaughter, she is already growing up!


GEDC0152 Her first time at the beach!


  • Antique Mall

    Yesterday, we went to that antique store I have been yammering on about.  It was so much fun, mostly because we were out of the truck, we were walking and being able to look at things besides the road and truck stops.  A fabulous change of pace…considering the last time we did this was right before Christmas in 2009!  Remember the little fun Native American Nativity set we had on the truck…it was from there.


    Anyways, there were two floors of over priced pseudo antiques.  Lots of things from my childhood days.  I am hardly an antique, and neither are cabbage patch dolls and Barbies from the 1990’s.  The doll selection was dismal.  One true antique with a price tag of $950 that was there the last time I was there, so obviously they aren’t making any sales.  There are better chances of a true antique on eBay at half that cost.  But the rest was enjoyable, I did find vintage buttons and trims for my sewing, a metal knitting gauge and a very nice Bates circular knitting needles in size 0.  Yippy, she only charged $1!  I also found a vintage old fashioned metal phone, a tiny used bottle of perfume and a small diary from 1961, which I always look for small books to put on bookshelves in the doll rooms.


    2011-01-20 004 2011-01-20 001

      A garishly delightful French provincial TV which made me laugh (but I wanted it!), and I adored this old toy stove:

    2011-01-20 002

    Imagine, that it really heats up!  I saw the heat coils under the cooking holes on top.  I wonder how many children may have burned themselves on it, perhaps it didn’t get that hot?  I wanted this time, but at $55 it was out of my price range.  It would have worked for a 10” child doll, or a 16-18” adult doll.


    I am still sewing for my little visitor.  Because of her presence, I have been giving a tremendous amount of thought to my dolls, my companions, my dolly world in general.  The visitor is small, about 12”?  I love this size.  I am getting use to sewing small again, and once I am into it, I don’t mind at all.  In fact, I am pleased with making tiny hand stitches and the control it gives on such small garments.  It’s definitely a challenge with fabric and trim selections, but I am learning as I go and having fun doing it.


    One of the things I did while in the Antique mall, was to pay attention to objects and the scale of antique things that could be used by doll companions.  I am leaning towards the antique world of dolls and really wanting to move into that realm again.  I want a companion just like the one I saw so many years ago, a fine antique lady, very small, about 10” in height, wearing a fabulous 1870’s dress, and her trunk was decorated with all kinds of things found on her African safari travels, everything from fine kid gloves to African tribal masks adorned her little trunk room.  The whole room was done with the utmost detail, just looking at a photo of it made my imagination soar with stories. 


    Living on the truck is so bland and harsh.  I want a world to retreat into with my doll.  A world I can research, make things for.  When I had Belsant Tower, I remember the thrills I use to get working on the storyline, making little tea stained letters, finding a candle stick that would fit on the mantel of the fireplace.  Yes, I really need to have this place to work from again.  Having a companion in the modern world with me, is paying attention to the day to day drag of trucking.  I need to escape it.


    I am giving considerations to whom that lady will be.  Charlotte is too large (18 inches) and a family heirloom, so she will never be a traveler, it is too risky.  Saraband is a possibility, she is about 13-14 inches?, but I am not sure how a china head will fare on a bumpy truck and I may tire of keeping her porcelain feet from banging against each other and that goes for traveling too.  I also have Miette, at 10” who has traveled with me and was a lot of fun.  Miette has a child’s face and body, so I am no sure yet on how to work with that, as I want an adult traveler. 


    I have a bid on a fine lady, but I seriously doubt I will win her.  I had to plead and bargain for the small amount I could bid, as there was a very strict rule to buy no more dolls this year, but I have it in my mind that I want something close to what my little visitor brought to me and I want to pursue it very much.  Something about the 10"-13” size, something about finery, something about a dream world, a historical place I can work on.  I miss Belsant Tower so much.  So many stories I have written about it and never published on the blog. 


    I have two room type doll trunks.  One for a small doll, one for a large.  Obviously I cannot drag around the large one, nor could I even get it on an airplane.  I am rethinking the possibility of changing the need of a companion for companionship’s sake and instead of finding an antique doll to have a year long adventure story within a historical context.  I don’t know if I can move Miette into an adult role, or if Saraband is too large for the smaller trunk or if I need to find a small china head to be the lady.  Something to think about, something I am working on. 


    Dear Diary,

    I have a new friend.  I don’t know who she is, she is very mysterious.  I think she is a Russian princess.  Mama is making her some fancy gowns.  She is like the princess and the pea story, she is fragile and spends most of her time in a satin lined train case all wrapped up in a blanket.  She doesn’t like getting dust in her hair or anything like that. 

    I talk to her everyday until she comes out for a fitting or a meal.

    2011-01-16 011 2011-01-16 012We have to talk through the train case, but that’s ok.  She tells me about fairy tales and wonderful magical stories about a moon. 

    Sometimes I just lie on the train case and listen to the stories.

    2011-01-16 013


    Dear Diary,

    Mama fixed my hammock so it is up higher.  She took a picture for me.

    2011-01-13 009 This is where I sleep at night. The big suitcase has all my stuff in it.  Mama says I have too much stuff.  I don’t think so. 

    we are still in California where there is this awful dry an dusty wind called the Santa Ana winds.  We keep coughing.    It is like summer here and we see palm trees and green grass.  Papa says we could be back in the snow in a matter of days!


    Dear Diary,

    I climbed a tree in California!


    I was up very high in the sky!

    DSC00586 DSC00607

    I feel good around trees.  I wonder why?

    Later, I explored the area behind the truck stop.  I found some water.  I couldn’t go down to it, there was a fence to keep kids out.


    Then I found a flower!  I have never seen a flower in January before!

    DSC00625 Then I found another one!  This one was yellow.


    I also found a really interesting cave,

    DSC00626 DSC00630 DSC00628I wish mikko were here, we could go exploring.  I am not sure it would be a good idea for me to go in there alone.  Maybe there are monsters in there!  I got kinda scared thinking about that so I left.

    DSC00635 I found a tire and a yellowy bush.

    DSC00633I liked the tree best, so I went back to it and sat for a while and watched the trucks go by.  Can you see our truck behind the tree?

    DSC00601 I loved it in the tree. 

    DSC00594I feel at home in trees.  Maybe I should live in a treehouse?


    Dear Diary,

    Today we are in Arizona.  When we stopped for the day yesterday, I got to go out into the desert and see a cactus.

    DSC00547it was really sharp with spines!

    DSC00532The weather was really cool and nice.  I liked it and wondered if there were any rattlesnakes around.  Mikko would like that a lot.  Not me.

    DSC00530I listened carefully for a rattling sound.  I didn’t hear any.

    DSC00556ON the way back I saw a Border Patrol car.  I pretended I was on the run!  I wish Mikko was here, we could pretend to run in the desert!

    DSC00557When we got back to the truck, Papa let me sit at the drivers wheel.  I bet Mikko would be so jealous if he saw this!