I kept trying to find my dolly world again.
I was given some Christmas money, and actually had the chance to bring a new (inexpensive) doll into the fold. Would that help inspire me? Would I find a new love? I found several antique dolls that caught my attention and of course the Zwergnase’s that still cause me such a longing to possess one again. But something was holding me back too. I have done that for so many years…reached out for the elusive doll that will bring something to my life.
I went back into the study and tried to find that which once existed in each doll that remain. So many memories in those faces! Of course, I do realise that I am giving it too much thought and this sort of thing just can’t be rationalised. I picked up Audrey. She was missing her eyes and wig. Her faceup was scratched. I wondered how that happened, since I have not played with her since I did that face up. I picked up Rosie. Come, on, old girl…give me that look that melts the ice within me! Rosie’s wig had come loose and fell off. Sigh, these were just not the magical moments I was hoping for.
Unfortunately, wigs and eyes and all accessories and clothes are buried deep in boxes yet unpacked because I have nothing to sort the items into. This hindrance fosters the inertia and
keeps me just hanging about staring at dolls who stare back with just as much lack lustre in their souls as I have. What a bunch we are!
I don’t know why, I picked up Maris and brought her to my desk. There was no particular reason to. The most recent and the most neglected of the bunch. I had made only one ill fitting dress and at best she sat by my computer and we looked at each other silently many a time. Her face up is bad too. I think that purity seal was not good. I see rubs. So I ordered some Mr Super Clear and will redo any faces that have suffered. I think it is only Audrey and Maris that got redo’s with that brand of sealer.
Maris (Iplehosue Luna) is larger that my old Evie. None of Evie’s remaining clothes fit her. The antique style leather shoes I have do, better than they fit Evie at the time. Silly clodhopper looking shoes though. So I took off the appalling dress and put on a chemise and antique handmade lace trimmed underskirt. I found Alina’s soft blue scarf and put that around Maris’ shoulders. Soon I was pulling some wool out of the yarn box and starting a dress.You have to start somewhere, I thought to myself…just do something….anything! Maris smiled, I swear she did! I gave her a Rudyard Kipling antique small book to read. My knitting I am sure will take ages.
So the knitting was started and we occasionally looked at each other and I was hearing a faint voice from her. So deep breath and knit. See what happens.