I am keeping track of the move to Europe here:
so I won’t go over all the details again, but today is marked on the calendar to sort, pack and get rid of every single dolly related item I have. I have allowed 3 days for this process. I am taking a deep breath, and knowing that we are limited in what we can bring, I am prepared to deal with it. We are sending 20 boxes. I am allowed 4 personal boxes, one for the sewing machine, one for sewing and knitting stuff and 2 for dolly stuff. I have to find space for some of my art supplies too. I had thought I could bring 5 dollies, but I now fear that won’t be possible.
I am sitting here at 3am, trying to get up the resolve I need to work through it. I remember how when we sold the house, I could not bear to go in the doll room and do what I needed to do. I kept postponing it and it ended up being the last thing I did to clear the house and it was so hard. This time, we scheduled this task to be done before anything else. Sigh. I’ll take photo’s as I go. Right now, I am just gearing up the fortitude I will need.
I muse that a year ago, I was facing getting off the truck and living in Hawaii and the dilemma at that time of trying to live a year with perhaps just a couple of small dolls. However, several more dolls crossed my path and with each, I knew I was still going to have to face the ones at home and the never ending stress of having to downsize again and again because for the last 4 years we have had major lifestyle changes. Here I am, once again having to make these decisions and I am frankly tired of it.
The ironic part this time around is that I know we are letting go of 9/10 of all we own and I like the idea of pure simplicity and frugal living. So this whole issue is not just dolly related. It is our whole life’s accumulation and emotional attachments that must be dealt with and I am determined not to put a negative slant on it. No woe is me, I have to sell my favourite dollies and go through mourning. Nope, I want every choice to be a positive one, one that is practical, one that harvests the essence of what I want with my dolly play and of course, any funds I can garner in sales would only help our new life. As of Friday, neither one of us is employed and we are pinching every penny and living off of savings.
Since I have been home, I have been clinging to Jollyann for some odd reason. I gave her a pair of glasses and something just popped out of her that grabbed my attention. I never got the chance to really get to know her, as I was in the middle of trucking, but now, I have found a new appreciation of her.
She almost looks like Ann Estelle, lol. I love the solid look of her, the character in her poses. I am pulled toward her like never before. I also have been carrying around Allina and Mikko, feeling such a deep love of my woodens. They have a completely different skin than the beautiful resins. They all have painted eyes, simpler shapes and of course their skin is nothing like the flawless resins. but it is warm and pleasing in a way that resin is not. I love the texture difference when a wooden wears a wool outfit compared to resin. I thought to myself, I have a happier kind of play with the simplicity of wooden dolls, whereas with resins, I have more drama. They are intense and represent perfection to me. I love their beautiful bodies and glass eyes. I love the ability to change their looks with wigs and eyes. It will be a very hard decision, do I go simple to match our new lifestyle or go for the gold?
I also feel like I am leaning towards more traditional dolls than the modern. I love how my wooden are unique. My Schoenhut is stripped of her paint and is bare wood. This gives her an imperfect face because the heads were steam pressed into moulds. They are solid wood, but the steam and heat left marks in the wood that cannot be sanded out. This doesn’t bother me in the least. In fact, after all the sculpted thinness of my resins, I am tickled with her plump cheeks!
I am of course, just musing while sitting here waiting for my husband to get up and we can get our day started. I am keeping an eye out for my heart’s reactions when I clear the dolly stuff and make those choices. I want to do it with love and happiness and move on to our grand adventure. I have been through enough dolls to know that manufactured dolls can be replaced or similar ones found and it is the unique one of a kind ones that need extra thought before letting go of. I think back on all the dolls I have had and the ones I truly regret letting go of is the two wooden Schoenhuts that I refinished into dark wood. Oh well.
I am now off to start the day and will be more active on my blog again as I go through this transition.